And When the Wee Fella Came Out, Things Got Weird

The Bride and I just returned from the concert at the Tweeter Center. (See earlier post.)

And I've got to say, country music is absolutely terrific. There's nothing more wholesome or fulfilling. As far as I'm concerned, there are only two kinds of music: country, and western. Country music is absolutely terrific. There's nothing more wholesome or fulfilling. Resistance is futile. As far as I'm concerned, there are only two kinds of music: country, and western. Country music is absolutely....

...makeitstop makeitstop makeitstop...

Seriously, though... for all of my misgivings, Big and Rich -- as goofy as they may appear -- are true showmen. They knew how to entertain a crowd full of "Philly hillbillies" wearing cowboy hats, waving around plastic bottles of Budweiser and interlocking arms in a strategic "grab a handful of ass through black denim" kind of way.

And anything that makes my Bride smile and dance and laugh and sing as much as these guys is okay in my book.

Some oddities, though, from this evening:

First, let me start with this guy. "Two-Foot Fred."



Now I'm not up on my Big & Rich lore, but apparently this wee fella is the star of their video, "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy." All I know is that one minute there's fireworks and flashing lights, and the next, a dwarf in a marmalade lampshade is bopping around to the music. It wasn't so much a country music moment as a harkening back to the days of carnivale.

Especially when, during the same song, the six foot, five inch Cowboy Troy (the band's sometime collaborator, purveyor of "hick hop," and country star in his own right) shared the stage. I didn't know where to look. I settled on the middle-aged couple a few rows ahead, playing grab ass.

Beer was $8 a pop. Sixteen ounces, served in a plastic bottle that would be absolutely no use in a bar fight. I drank three, and realized I could have bought a case of really decent beer instead.

The ferry that took us to Camden was escorted by two U.S. Coast Guard gunships. That was a bit weird. I mean, if we were to suddenly blow up, what would they do with those guns? Shoot us in the water to make sure we didn't suffer?

During one intermission, we encountered a large gentleman who described, in almost loving detail, how he broke the nose of some 25-year-old mosh pit idiot during a Jimmy Buffet concert last summer. Then he added, almost needlessly, that he worked for the U.S. Postal Service.

Brooks and Dunn were kind of lame, except they had three hotties dancing around in the backround, moving in unison. At one point, Brooks (at least I think it was Brooks) showed a video of himself competing in a donkey race. Toward the end, the donkey lost control, and smashed into a horse-drawn carriage. From there, they segued into a love song. Okayyyy...

The opening act, the Warren Brothers, were surprisingly rockin'. The one Warren Brother even wore an Al Pacino Scarface t-shirt. Cool.

I mentioned the beer was $8 a pop, right?